Linux Format logo

It makes no sense

Because my life is like a perpetual episode of Seinfeld, I ask you: What's the deal with toasters?

I mean, look at this. Here's the marvellous job done by my classy new Argos Cookworks toaster:

That's OK -- it's pretty dark and crunchy, just as I like it. But this is setting number four. There are nine settings. No sane person would want their toast much darker than this, so why are there nine settings?

WHY?!

(Oh, and before anyone mentions re-heating or defrosting, the machine has separate facilities for that. And a pull-out crumb tray. Not bad for six quid. But it doesn't answer the single most important question that humanity has ever faced.)


Your comments

I like my toast best when it

I like my toast best when it goes on fire, mmmmm! that lovely fresh coal dust taste is great. I'm told its good for hangovers as well.

AH

Sounds like one very

Sounds like one very advanced toaster. Does it run Linux? ;-)

Perhaps toasters, like

Perhaps toasters, like vacuum cleaners, lose performance over time and you will that when your toaster is very old it needs a higher setting.
Or perhaps having a large range of values means that they don't need careful calibration when being manufactured - do all toasters of the same brand cook the same at the same setting?

Parenthetically, the thing I don't like about toasters is that, with most of them, you can't pop the toast back in after you've put the jam on. Mmm, hot jammy toast in winter.

Ah, but I have a toaster

Ah, but I have a toaster that goes up to 11 :)

(with apologies to Spinal Tap)

"But it doesn’t answer the

"But it doesn’t answer the single most important question that humanity has ever faced."

You mean why they call it cargo when it goes by ship and shipment when it goes by car?

But to answer the nine settings: so they can charge you more. That and having to hardwire the toaster for the perfect toast would take some R&D, why not just stick an adjustable switch on it and let the coffinstuffers figure it out for themselves!

I didn't notice this

I didn't notice this one:

"No sane person would want their toast much darker than this, so why are there nine settings?"

Setting number four is for sane people and the other eight are for the insane. That makes perfect sense to me, without getting into the serious side of different types of bread and thickness of slices and such.

Sometimes you really would benefit from having a Talkie Toaster.

Ah, I think we're getting

Ah, I think we're getting somewhere now. Thanks for the responses!

So it's goes up to nine because:

- The filaments will lose strength over time
- Nine is so much better than those poxy three-setting toasters
- The insane deserve quality toast too

Rhakios: can you lay the toaster on its side and then slide the pre-jammed toast in? (Kids: don't do this at home!)

M

Mike, there are toasters

Mike, there are toasters that work that way, but with some the sides come in to grip the toast, and thus the jam. Also consider the eject problem, having your hot jammy toast shot across the kitchen...
Okay, that might appeal to some people.

Meanwhile, I'll stick to using the eye-level grill* on my oven.

*According to Flanders and Swann, this invention removes the need to bend down before having hot fat spit straight into your eye.



Web hosting by UKFast